Flights Home :)

Kristen and I have decided to head back to Cape Town a little earlier than initially expected.

Return date: 28th February 2012

In short we miss everyone way too much! We'll be in Cape Town for 3-4 weeks, and then we'll be heading to the States for the rest of the year.

This may mean the end of this blog soon - but not the end of our adventures! We've got some really exciting stuff planned for the next few weeks. Read on...

Kerala - First impressions

Kristen and I arrived (by train) in Kochi (Kerala) today.

First impression - the people are so much more friendly. Here is just a snapshot:

• Venders don't ask twice when you kindly decline their offers! 
• Food is served with a smile - oh and a $1.20 dollar breakfast and a $1.10 lunch. Cheapest food in India so far!
• Tuk-tuk drivers actually offer us fair prices, that we don't even bother bargaining. One tuk-tuk driver found us a wonderful "home-stay", a motorbike to rent, and drove us around, and only asked us a minimal rate of 20 rupees ($0.40). We gave him 100 rupees because he was just awesome!

Kerala Plans

Our rough plan for the following 3 weeks (wow - only 3 weeks left!) are as follows:

• 7th (tonight) - homestay with a local family (motorbike rental) for 2 nights near Kochi Fort.

• 9th - Travel 40km down to Alappy for a day on a wonderful back-water house boats, fresh fish meals... more to come! A mere $10 per person (all expenses included!)

source:   http://www.travelmadeeasy.in/alleppey-kayloram-main.jpg 

• 11th - Take a ferry to the Lakshadweep islands, for 6 nights on the islands (with only 30 others tourists!). We'll be scuba diving every day - I need to learn somehow! We crazily booked this earlier today! Fingers crossed it looks like the pictures :) 

source:  http://www.southindia-tour.com/lakshadweep/gifs/lakshadweep-island.jpg 

• Then we have a week left to head North, or South? Suggestions welcome :)

I know it looks a bit extravagant, but in this affordable country Kristen and I have decided to treat ourselves!

3 weeks of relaxation to celebrate our engagement :)

Or has it been 3 months?

Bargaining in Goa

The bargaining in Goa is sooooo weird! I mean, India has tourists, sure. But Goa has TOURISTS. Here is a little comment on bargaining.

To get you in the mood...

source: http://insert-joke-here.com/images/0065-bargaining.png

Imaginary Situation: 

Given, a straw hat is worth $5 in a city.

Standard Rules of bargaining (in a city, where supply and demand are in balance):

Opening bid:

• They say $20
• I say $5

Bargaining round(s):

• They say $15
• I say $8
• They say $12
• I say $9

Agreement stage:

• We agree on $10

Goan Rules of Bargaining (supply and demand are up-side down!):

Opening bid:

• They say $20
• I say $5

They say (literally): Go away.

Why? 

I believe that the more developed beaches (North), are falsely saturated by tourist income. People selling are not willing to budge, because although you want to bargain, there are 100 "innocent & rich" tourists lined up willing to pay the starting price!








  

Having Joy and Being Happy

"Joy is what happens when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are." 

-- Marianne Williamson

I heard a sermon shortly before I left Cape Town about having joy in your life... what it means to carry joy with you and not let life steal it away.  I also heard Cindy Wells -- (a woman who has served many roles in my family's lives -- from being my dad's Sunday school teacher when he was a kid to being the administrator in all the Thompson kids' middle school to being a source of support for us since my dad died) -- talk about having her joy stolen when her husband passed away a few years ago and that she is slowly gaining it back.  I didn't quite understand it at the time, but I think I'm wrapping my head around it now.

It made me think about the difference between having joy and being happy.

First, take a look at the parts of speech of each word (yes, I know I'm a nerd) -- joy is a noun and happy is an adjective.  Nouns are things, you can carry, hold, earn, lose, and even sometimes touch.  Adjectives are subjective, fleeting, and reflect a state of temporary being.

Even consider that in English, we only have verb to reflect a person's state of being (the "to be" verb: is, am, are, etc -- I am happy, for example).  In Spanish (and I presume a few other languages as well), there are two verbs for "to be" -- ser and estar.  Ser reflects a permanent state of being (gender, personality traits, physical characteristics etc), whereas estar is used to reflect a temporary state of being (how you feel and where you are show when you use the verb estar).

Okay beyond nouns and adjectives -- it is impossible to really be happy all the time -- consider all the ways that people can become sad, anxious, etc.  A nice meal or sitting on the beach makes me happy, but getting sick makes me sad.... happiness is generally fleeting.  It's a descriptive term for a temporary state of being. Life gets in the way of being happy a lot of the time.  This is something I've been forced to think about more in the past few months.

Something that is perhaps less fleeting than happiness is building up and holding on to joy.  Joy is a noun.  You can carry it with you wherever you go.  I think joy is more of a perspective, a way of looking at things, a personal fulfillment that is more permanent than temporary happiness.  It's yours and no one else's. It can be shared and it doesn't diminish. Joy comes from being confident in who you are, what you believe, and the relationships with people around you.  Joy has a friend (another noun) that can be possessed -- peace (but that's for another day).

Joy can also be stolen from you and affected by life, but not as easily as happiness.

I've thought about this a lot on our trip here in India... about ways to fill up my joy instead of riding the waves of happiness and sadness.  I feel like a lot of my joy was stripped from me a few months ago clear out of the blue and it's taken a while to build it up again, but once it's built up on a firm foundation I think it will be even harder for it to be stolen.  I also think that recognizing the value of joy and that it is a thing to be treasured, built up, and protected makes it less likely to be stolen.

Lastly, my joy was affected because my dad suddenly passed away -- but the source of the joy that I had before -- my relationship with my dad, the amazing ways that he affected my life, taught me, guided me, and loved me -- have not been lost.  Reflecting on this restores my joy even though it brings some temporary sadness.

Strive for joy... and when you find it, share it!

"I have told you these things, that My joy and delight may be in you and that your joy and gladness may be of full measure and complete and overflowing" -John 15:11

Rating beaches in Goa

Here are our thoughts of the beaches, from a week of motorbiking up and down the coast! Simply, the further North you go (along the coast), the more developed it is! The further South you go - the more beautiful. For more... read on.

• Baga
• Facilities: full of restaurants, shacks, beach chairs, boats...
• Internet: available
• People:  thousands of locals selling stuff & other tourists. Literally thousands.
• Beauty: 3/10
• Price: very high (by Indian standards)

• Miramar
• Facilities: capital of Goa, but less developed beaches. Restaurants & beach sports. 
• Internet: available
• People: maybe a few hundred tourists.
• Beauty: 4/10
• Price: high 

• Colva
• Facilities:  Less developed beaches. Some shack-restaurants on the beach, but still many people selling stuff.
• Internet: available
• People:  maybe a few hundred tourists.
• Beauty: 8/10
• Price: high (tourists density)

• Palolem
• Facilities: A full array of beach-side restaurants crowding this beach. Simple, but busy.
• Internet: available
• Beauty: 9/10
• People:  several hundred tourists.
• Price: affordable (because it is farther away to travel)

• Talpona  RECOMMENDED!
• Facilities: One hostel/restaurant.
• Internet: maybe one day (in a few years)
• Beauty: 9/10
• People: A few dozen other other couples on the beach. 
• Price: super cheap!

• Polem
• Facilities: One hostel/restaurant.
• Internet: dream on
• Beauty: 10/10
• People: Only 2 or 3 other couples on the beach. 
• Price: very high (because of the low supply!)

Taj Mahal + better...

In Agra, Kristen and I visited the Taj Mahal... here are the "tourist pictures" to prove it.

Notice the reflection in my eye...

Beautiful as it was, it was is not the most beautiful building in India.

So far, Kristen and I favour Humayun's Tomb in Delhi the most architecturally.

Our wonderful tourguide was Abhishek. 

Abhishek - thanks for all your guidance in Delhi - we wouldn't have had much fun without you!

The gardens around the tomb are just breathtakingly beautiful, and are based on Moghull architecture. Here is a bird's eye view model of the place for all to see (click to enlarge).

Unfortunately, the Graffiti all around was quite repulsive. An almost 500 year old tomb, and the kids of today etching "me heart you" on trees and buildings because it's cool :( Well it's not.

South Goan Anniversary

So yesterday (1st of Feb), was our 2 year anniversary of meeting each other. Politics class at UCT, for those friends of ours that remember!

We found a lovely quaint cottage, near some beautiful rice fields. 

Painters everywhere - the colour green comes from their leaves! They are breathtakingly green!

Our simple porch... where we've been sitting chatting and reading :)

The entrance  - Palm Grove Cottages (I think they're called). Lovely walk ways shaded by palm trees everywhere.

The place made Kristen smile soooo big. A real gem!

Choco-holics

To set the scene - we were in Dundlod. A small village. The largest shop was a small 3 x 6 meter garage.  We ate well, but mainly the same types of vegetables in a variety of curry flavors... you can guess that we were craving a thing or too.

So about a week into our time in Dundlod (early to mid-Jan), Kristen was craving chocolate. We found a lovely little shop that sold chocolate smarties called "Gems" by the single-packs. Each packed had 3 smarties in it (candy covered chocolate drops.. like m&ms or smarties)

1 rupee per pack. That works out to be 6 packs for 1 South African Rand. 50 packs for $1.

Kristen bought 10 packs for us to share, and loved them. On her last pack, her face dropped.

So we ran off, and offered the shop keeper 110 rupees for the rest of the container of sweets! Given that there were around 200 left in the jar... but still! That's $2.20 for over 600 smarties, and of course, a smile :)

To say she smiled doesn't quite capture it. Kristen walked around the village all day with the container under her arm! I may have helped her eat them :)

Not only were we the happiest people in the village, but Kristen made sure that everyone got a sweet that day -- kids, our buddies in the stables, pretty much everyone!

Hotel Paradise

On our train trip from Delhi to Goa, we met a nice man named Manish (seems that we meet many nice people in India named Manish -- must be a good name! :) ... pun intended, for those of you who understand that)***.  

Anyway, Manish is a pastry chef at the Marriott resort in Panjim (capitol of Goa).  He invited us to come by and see him...  and so we did.  And boy were we glad we did! :)  The resort was absolutely stunning and he organized to let us sit in their cozy beach chairs and hammocks and even gave us cappuccinos and pastries. 

It's so nice for budget travelers like Leen and me to have a truly 5-star experience.  So glad we have the opportunity to meet such interesting and generous people.  We still wonder why we're so blessed and what makes people like Manish invite us and treat us so well.

view of the Marriott pool and beach front

Me at sunset in a hammock in paradise :)

***For those of you who don't understand the pun with "good name" -- When people in India ask your name, they almost always ask "What is your good name?", which Leen and I find quite a sweet way to ask.  It seems to have a deeper meaning because everyone in India has the name given to them for the rest of the world to use (good name) and a name for only their family to use in intimate situations. 

Beach Life

On occassion we would stumble into a private beach, where all the chairs were booked for the guests of that hotel. While being white in South Africa can be problematic today, being white in India is a perk. Kristen and I are still debating the ethics of using our "birth circumstances" to our benefit.

That is Kristen on the beach in the distance...

A whole fish that we ordered on the beach... cooked with some delicious garlic and masala spice

I still don't understand the huge concern with security in the most random of places, especially when it really seems to be more of a facade of security, anyway.  In this case I can just as easily walk around it!

You often see metal detectors going into shops, restaurants, trains, metros, etc, but sometimes they are unguarded like this one.  Even when they are guarded, the guards don't seem to take much concern when the detectors beep.  I know that India has experienced some terrorist threats and attacks in recent years and some people say these detectors and heightened security are supposed to make things safer, but I can't help but question the efficacy of these measures.... maybe it's my politics background....  

Birthday in Panjim, Goa

We couchsurfed with Kapil (far right) and his neighbors invited us all over for their granddaughter's 2nd birthday party! What started off as "just come over for a drink" ended up with a huge meal and a really lovely evening... thanks to some lovely Indian hospitality! :)

Jill, to Kristen's right was born in India and spent her early years here before moving to England, where her family was from. 

Comment from Leen: Spot Kristen - asking "help! Whats the etiquette for dishing up??" with a simple look :)

GOAT!

Calling Seb Remmelzwaal... 

Please keep your GOAT with you at all times. 

The world does not take responsibility for you loss of your possessions!

Goa

So Kristen and I arrived in Goa on Tuesday. Train from Delhi took 30 hours. We left at 7am, and only arrived at midday, the next day.

Trains have many classes... and true to our style of travelling, we took the lowest. Sleeper class @ $10 each for the 2000km trip! The bottom seats fold down to make a bed. One person sleeps on the bottom, and one person sleeps on top (that's not a baggage rack!)

Since arrival, we've been staying with a Couch Surfing host, in a nice house (with showers and western style toilets) - a nice man called Kapil. We hired a 100cc scooter for a week, and everyday we've been travelling in style around Goa.

So Goa is a tourist-y place, with lots of lovely beaches. Here's a map.

 

Note: click map to enlarge

We are staying in Panjim (green area).

On Tuesday we travelled North to beaches near Mapusa (yellow), and the VERY tourist filled breaches. Both Indian and foreign tourists! Only at sunset did we find a quiet beach.

On Wednesday we travelled south to beaches near Margao (orange), and those beaches are amazing!

Postcard quality beaches - I can tell because Kristen can't wipe a smile off her face. 

However, Kristen did tell me that is made her homesick, and that "Garden City is just like this but better, because its near my family".

We then attended a weekly market (Wednesday only) aimed at tourists... a great place for Kristen to browse for colourful locally made presents. These are colourful cloth lanterns, for hanging around your house.

On Wednesday evening, we decided to splurge and get Kristen a dish she's been dreaming of since we decided to head towards the coast. Lobster.

 

"It was in-credible. Most delicious lobster I've ever had in my life"

Photos of Dundlod

So here are a few photos - after all, what is a story without photos :)

Leen with an adult female horse (mare). One of the first big horses we dare to groom (clean)!

Leen's favourite/favorite (depending on where you are in the world) horse. A one year old male (colt). A feisty little beast, that carried the attitude of a rebellious teenager. He bit me and charged me on day one... and would walk up to us for a pat by day 10. 

The fort (top story). The walls needed a repaint, and repairing, and replastering... and there were many walls, but thats what happens after 250 years!

View from the 2nd floor balcony of the main entrance. Leen loved the old WWII jeeps parked here and there.

Despite shoveling horse poo, feeding and grooming during the day, we lived with the "Maharaja". That means we ate and were served like kings. Literally. Here is a photo of breakfast (before the omelettes came out to party!). 

This fort really was an Oasis in the rural town of Dundlod. In the state of Rajasthan actaully! Relatively clean water (but not drinkable for foreigners), Western style toilets, electricity for between 5-10 hours a day, minimal littering (inside the fort)... an Indian heaven! Literally.

Maharaja (for some background) is a name given to a "Lord" of a large portion of land. Before independence, India adopted a "feudal system", where Maharajas were given rule over large regions of land. This system does not exist anymore, but land and titles were traditionally handed down from father to son. The family owning this fort are direct descendants of the previous Maharaja. After independence, much of the land owned/governed was overtaken by the new Indian government, so Maharajas were left with only a a fraction of their property (i.e. a few forts, houses and many fields of crops).

The whole time we were there, something didn't sit right with me. A hierarchical system enforced by culture and tradition, glorifying a family who other than their inherited wealth, have very little marketable, desirable qualities! Helping them push paper around, we discovered that the family (with much influence from a particular British lady) has recently been pouring energy into "breeding the Marwari horses". Their farm land used to feed their horses, and their fallow land used as paddocks. Marketable skills? Deserving of a fort, with 4 star accommodation and food provided, deep pockets, and a full time servant staff of 15 people?

On the bright side... despite the flaws of the Feudal system, this family was known to be lenient on taxing the local farmers, especially if there was a poor harvest season. Now, farmers and businesses are taxed annually by the government, irrespective of their yield and performance. I'm a little torn in my judgement. 

Kinda. 

Ok - not at all.

Dundlod and Horses

We've been in a small town called Dundlod now for about 10 days, and we plan to stay here another 5 days - a rough total of 2 weeks. It's been another successful "workaway" adventure!

In short, it's a 250 year old fort, ruled by Maharajas (kings), inherited by their bloodline.  The fort is big enough to support at least 30 people living here, comfortably.  About half a dozen or so people live here permanently.  The fort sponsored the opening of a school about 20 years ago, which has now grown to include k-12.  It seems to be doing very well. The family who owns the fort also owns a great deal of land of which a large area has been converted to a stable and horse paddocks.  The family now owns about 60 horses, which they use for breeding and safari tours.  The breed of horse in indigenous to India and is called the Marwari (a.k.a curly ears).

ps. photo not taken with my camera (stolen off another website)

Although Kristen and I had very little experience with horses (ie none), we are now able to clean, feed, walk, and bareback ride (about 2-minutes at a time) a number of horses. Mostly females (mares). The males (stallions) are bigger (much), and kick and scream dangerously, so we stay away.

We've been tasked with looking after the babies (females = foals, males = colts). They're only thrice our weight, easily taller than us, and could kill us easily, but they don't know this. Its all about pretending to be bigger. Really. Simple formula. Scary to try :)

Kristen and I were asked to help the Maharaja out today with some PR (public relations), and Kristen is now typing up a press release (what ever that is), and sponsorship packet (that too, i dont quite get). But all is well. We get "afternoon tea" and I get to play with kites while she works. I'm the "executive consultant", in case anyone asks.

Off to bed. I've got a long day of "executive consulting" tomorrow... yummy!

Keep your hands to yourself, Jaipur

Anyone who has traveled to India knows what a novelty it is for children and most other locals to see or speak to foreigners -- I'm not sure why, but people just seem to like staring at Leen and me.  We've pretty much gotten used to it because it generally comes from a place of curiosity rather than anything else.

It was most noticeable in Agra when we went to the Taj Mahal and Indian people wanted to take photos with us rather than with the Taj as a background.

Jaipur was a bit different.  For me, at least.

I have traveled a lot and have never felt as objectified -- either because of my white skin or because I'm a woman or whatever the reason -- as I did in Jaipur.  I am very conscious of my clothing choices as it is AND it's winter, so I cover up even more to keep warm.

On the bus, on the street, everywhere -- I felt and saw men staring at me shamelessly and not in the I-wonder-where-she's-from sort of way... their eyes followed me from head to toe and tended to settle somewhere in the middle, usually my chest.  Once on the bus, Leen had to break a boy's stare after a few minutes by waving his hand in the boy's face.

As if the stares weren't enough -- On our first night in Jaipur, Leen and I were walking down a side street looking for an internet cafe when two guys on a motorbike drove past us repeatedly shouting things at me like "Hello, beautiful", "Will you marry me?", and such... Then, they came past slowly a third or fourth time and the passenger reached out and completely unexpectedly grabbed my chest.  It was one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life.  I turned around and shouted at him, but they sped off with Leen chasing them down the street.  I think the worst part of it was that another motorbike driver stopped to ask what had happened and when Leen explained to him, he just responded with "Oh, no problem".

For us, it was more than a problem.  I felt so violated.

I've never understood a sexual assault victim's tendency to blame themselves until that point -- I'm not suggesting that what happened to me is anything close to being raped or otherwise assaulted, but after that happened I began to question whether I had done something wrong, if it was my fault that it happened.  I wondered if my clothes were too revealing (a loose fitting sweatshirt, scarf, and baggy jeans), if we were just out too late, if I should have had my head covered, if I should have stood closer to Leen, and dozens of other what-ifs and questions.  The truth is that no one deserves to be violated in any way, big or small.  And no woman deserves to wonder if it is her fault.  I wish men knew that it's more than just their own dignity that they sacrifice to get a laugh.

Also...

I've found it interesting that Indian women in Rajasthan seem to cover themselves more than women in other parts of the country.  The saree is wrapped to also cover the head in this part of the country, whereas is is more of a shawl on the shoulder in other parts of the country.  I initially thought that the saree wrapped around the head distinguished Muslim from Hindu women, but have learned that the saree worn this way does not distinguish religions in this part of the country.

Perhaps women here cover up even more to protect themselves against wandering eyes... or is it possible that the wandering eyes inevitably fall to the woman without her head covered?

Good News!

Good News!

We are healthy once again and have been for about 10 days now (about the length of time we've been without internet).  My tummy bug lasted a few days and wiped me out pretty completely -- I don't recommend it as a diet plan, but if you ever need to lose weight quickly it certainly was effective at that.  Fortunately, Leen took very good care of me and force fed me medicine, liquids, and what little food I could keep down so that I made a pretty speedy recovery.

Aside from the vomiting, weakness, and altogether too frequent trips to the bathroom (sorry for the details), the most unpleasant part of being sick was the traditional, Indian-style drop toilet that I had the "pleasure" of using.  We actually climbed up to the Amber Fort again just to use the clean, pay-as-you-go, western-style toilets.  At 5 Rupees a pop, I'd say it was well worth the price!

We've been in Dundlod (in Rajasthan) for about eight days and eating very well here, so no worries -- I no longer look or feel ill!  We'll update more about what we're doing here (mostly playing with horses) in another post, but want everyone to know that we're both happy and healthy once again! 

Doctor, Doctor...

So in Rishikesh, Kristen fell sick (or rather had been for a 10 days), and the doctor prescribed antibiotics. She got better quickly, and rose to her feet with a smile. Now we're in Jaipur, living with a wonderful family (a grand extended family of about 20 people), all living in a 2 story building in the suburb of Amer, right next to the Amber Palace (photos to come).

We've been here 2 nights now, and so far we've enjoyed wonderful home-cooked food, and gained great insight into the local lifestyle.

Unfortunately, Kristen's toughened stomach was reset back to zero by the antibiotics, so what (for me) was a tasty meal of Biryani and chipatis has knocked her for 6! She's been bed-ridden all day, and went to see the doctor, who only prescribed her more antibiotics. We're decided not to risk another round of antibiotics, so I'm just spoon feeding and re-hydrating Kristen every few hours - and lots of TLC :)

We're currently in the process of consulting America's best doctor (Megan Thompson) so everything should sort itself out - but we're a little bummed today.

Kristen and I came to India for a rich experience of a new culture, and so far we're jut taken turns being sick. Maybe our bodies just aren't cut out for this country?

Vini, Vai, Ali, Ragesh? Are we being silly trying to travel around India?

Agra, Jaipur & beyond...

Kristen and I enjoyed New Years eve in Agra - we saw the beautiful Taj Mahal.

On the turn of the year, we were in a backpackers in Agra, enjoying an unusual winter downpour! We celebrated with a half a dozen other travellers from all over the world.

On the 1st we woke up and jumped on a bus to Jaipur - 5 hours away, on bus! Bumpy ride, but we arrived at 6pm safely. We unfortunately took 1 hour trying to find a pizza place, then 3 hours trying to find an internet cafe to get our "couch-surfing" contact number. We arrived at their place at 10pm... shame we kept them awake :(

We're staying in Jaipur for a few days, then heading up to a horse-stable for a week or two - another "work away" contact. More to follow...

Missing everyone very much, especially family and close friends (especially you Lou!)